Chapter Fourteen: After The Awakening

I conclude the book with a recap about what an awakening is and what life CAN be like when you awaken and continue to work towards being love. When you surround yourself with love into your life you no longer live in torment of your past and you now have all the power and courage to create the most beautiful future. Life is a wonderful gift. You can be anything, why not Be Love...

Transcript

Chapter Fourteen

After the Awakening

Positive affirmation: With a clear and earnest heart and mind, I direct my will to create peace and harmony in my life and in the world.

After my awakening, my willingness to love began to grow in me. At times I have been more and less aware of my radiance. My awakening was just the beginning. Many things, mainly mindsets and habits, still had to change, and I kicked and screamed while letting go of some of them. Each time I had a new awakening, I shed more of my beliefs and behaviours that no longer seemed to fit. I’ve had major and minor awakenings, and each time I needed to ground and stabilize the new place in which I found myself. 

To fully serve my path and destiny, I have had to include a ruthless, compassionate approach to my devotion and willingness to love myself. The ruthless part involved my sheer willingness to abandon my mind and its trappings, and a steadfast commitment to keep moving forward no matter what comes my way. As for the compassionate part, I needed to become the love that I am.

Change

Several times a year, I would go on meditation retreats with my monk friends. By the end of one of these retreats, I would have a noticeable shift of consciousness and come home a new me. The problem was, I was returning home to the same circumstance that the old me had left. Then, over a period of several weeks or sometimes only days, the new me would disappear and the old me would resurrect himself like nothing ever happened. 

            When change happens, it tends to stir up emotions and beliefs, so when you change your mental landscape, there is an adjustment period. Just like your awakenings, some mental shifts are big and some are minor. When you have major mental shifts, it can be very disorienting. I have experienced periods where I felt very confused about everything. Who am I? What does this life really mean? Is this spiritual path I am on just a dream? 

Once confusion sets in, my mind is quick to capitalize on it. I begin to have all kinds of distracting thoughts. During these times, I refrain from doing a lot of talking or writing and I try my best to stay anchored to the moment. I remind myself to pay no attention to these thoughts. By doing so, the phase of confusion ends more swiftly. 

After an awakening, you experience a phase of integration. If the momentum of your old beliefs runs out before you grab onto them, change takes place. Most often, this wasn’t the case for me. I would have a deep experience of awakening and then, the next thing I knew, I was right back into my old beliefs—the very same ones that keep me disempowered and struggling with my life. 

The momentum of our old beliefs takes time to burn out. Our old beliefs may have the momentum of our entire life behind them, and it is possible that our beliefs could even have several generations of momentum built into them. It may take all our will power to keep ourselves from grabbing onto our old beliefs. In times of awakening, be extra vigilant not to latch onto your old behaviours or mindsets that keep you from living your new awakening. 

The Path

Our growth and awakening are not straight lines. Waking up, growing, and letting go has been a whole gamut of experiences for me. There have been times I have had more sideways movement than forward, and it felt like I was going nowhere for long periods. Then, out of the blue, I could see changes in my life, showing me that I no longer struggled with problems that previously caused me stress and pain. 

The greatest amount of forward movement has resulted from my willingness to let go of all the behaviours and mindsets that caused me to be disempowered. The energy I would burn up in my grievances was a total waste. My time and energy are much better spent focusing on, and working toward, what is good and in alignment with my purpose.  

As I have experienced many difficult periods, I am convinced that we all will have our trials to go through. I have come to see these trials are opportunities to see if we can walk our talk. In difficult situations, the temptation to grab onto the old me jumps right to the front of my mind. It can be just the thing that slides me back into my old, disempowering mindset. Being aware of this helps me stay on track. 

 Link to Picture
https://umatter.ca/category/be-love-audio-book/

The Path Deepens with Love

When we choose for love long enough, eventually everything around us is the result of that choice.

The depth of love in me is immeasurable. For most of my life, I have been drawn to love, and my awakening only intensified a deeper focus toward love. What is different now is that I no longer search for love. I don’t require it from another, and I know where to find it in myself. The key point here is that the love I was searching for was always in me.

 My life has become a constant reminder to look to love. I have let go of all my beliefs and behaviours that don’t support love in my life. This is an ongoing practice that I keep in the forefront of my mind. I no longer want or need anything other than the love I have found in me. 

I spent years of my life bouncing between love and my anger. I knew that I needed to let love win, but I had residual anger trapped in me. Years of covered hurt prevented me from being the love that I wanted and needed to be. I found my solution in my choice and willingness to let love in. In turn, this has healed my hurts and has allowed my anger to fade. There are times when it tries to boil up in me, but I am no longer willing to hold my anger. Being my own source of love, I am able to self-regulate. My growth was impeded when I relied on others to give me the love I needed. Becoming my own source of love is my greatest asset. My ability to call up my love within has allowed my growth and further awakening to occur at an exponential rate. 

If you like, go back now to the top of this section and replace the word “love” with “God.” Notice how this passage deepens when you change the word to God. My relationship with the Divine is about my decision to choose love. It is how I consciously bring God into my life. This is how I stay with God, ceaselessly. Churches, temples, and all the other traditional places of worship are great; however, my relationship with the Divine is completely an inward one that is maintained with me holding a position of love.

Gratitude

Since my awakenings, gratitude finds its way into my heart and mind more often. I do not require much and I am grateful for what I have. When my life was void of love/God, my needs were endless. By pausing to reflect on all that I have, gratitude naturally arises in me. When I look back at all the people I have known, and experiences and possessions I have had, I am humbled and filled with gratitude. My gratitude drives away my need for superfluous things now. The pride of ownership holds nothing for me in comparison to the joy of love and peace. It is not that I am opposed to wanting or having things, but the things I want and have do not have the same meaning to me now.

Over time, if we continue to practice gratitude, its wisdom has the power to gift us with the ability to see what really matters in life.

What matters the most to me now is love. The wonderful thing about love is that the more you hold it, the more it gets a hold of you. It also works in reverse. We become what we embrace. The more anger we hold, the more it holds us. The good news is that we can choose what we want to embrace and become that. 

Knowing Self

After we awaken, there is great joy in shaking off the false self. I discovered that the true self in me has no preferences, wants, or needs. The true self is more than an “object that thinks and wants.” My true self holds the plan of my destiny. It is also the same place where I find the Divine radiance within me. The individual sense of self dissolves as I gain a relationship with the true self. As my awakening deepens, the idea that there is a “My” or a “Me” has changed. The identification with the mind and body ties us to the burden of it. We become free the moment we shake off the notion that we are this body. 

The body and mind are important, but when it comes to who and what I am, it is much bigger than what is carrying me around. We are merely riding the body we are in. At the end of our life, we will cast it off, and our eternal spirit will be uncovered. Why not unwrap it while we are still in the body and reveal it to the world? We can do this by holding our focus on the identity of the true self and love. The true self is not singular; it is found in all of humanity. I am connected to you as you are connected to me. 

By understanding the nature of self, my experience with others and with my life is different. I don’t see the world as a dark place riddled with problems that are not mine. I see the world as one massive creation and expression of God. I have my role to play, and most of my attention goes toward that. It is not my job to fix or be anything other than my purpose. Knowing self has turned my life into an interaction to enjoy rather than a struggle to tackle. With love as my purpose, my interaction has become a pursuit of joy. My position of love does not guarantee that I will not experience challenging moments. It just means that I can deal with them from a calm mind, with the intention of love, and with a willingness to look for compassion and understanding. 

Beyond Awakening

My awakening was an invitation from the Divine to join God while I transition into my divinity here on earth. It was an invitation to be with God while I go about the rest of my days. What is next is not nearly as important as where I am coming from. What I do does not matter if I am coming from the place of love. What really matters the most to me is the spirit of love. With love, I no longer feel afraid of the future, I no longer feel tormented by my past, and this moment, right now, couldn’t be more perfect. 

Taking a Trip to a Krishna Temple

When I had my retail store in town, a monk from the Krishna temple in Toronto would come and visit me when, once a year, he would ride his bicycle from Toronto to London. We met by chance one year during his annual ride and since that time, every year, it has been the same routine. For many years he would stay for a short visit, and during that visit he would give me his business card and invite me to a Sunday feast. For one reason or another, I could never seem to get myself to the temple to take him up on his invitation. Then one day, while cleaning my desk, I came across one of his cards. I decided in that moment I would go to Toronto on Sunday. I called the temple to let my friend know that I was coming, because I wanted to make sure he was going to be there. I also wanted to know what time first prayers were so I could spend the day with him. When I called, he was elated to get my phone call and confirmed that he would be there and that first prayers were at five. 

            A few days later, I was on the road at three in the morning to make it to the temple in Toronto by 5:00 a.m. When I arrived, there was a devotee at the front desk. I let him know I was there to visit one of the monks who lived in the temple, and the front desk person said, “I think your friend is still sleeping.” 

I told him that my friend and I had made arrangements for my visit, so he should be awake, since he did say first prayers were at five. A few minutes later, the receptionist returned with my sleepy-eyed friend stumbling behind him. When they got to the front desk, my friend looked at me and said, “What are you doing here so early?” Instantly it dawned on me. He had meant 5:00 p.m., not 5:00 a.m. 

            It was an interesting day with my friend. He really didn’t know what to do with me. He was not accustomed to having visitors, so all day long he just shuffled me from room to room in the temple. I did not mind that nor did I require a lot of attention from him. It was just nice to be there for the day. What made that day so special, and what makes this story worth telling, is what happened after I met him in the reception area at 5:00 a.m. 

Once we figured out that we had a misunderstanding, my friend invited me to sit in the temple while he went off to shower and prepare himself to be my host for the day. From the lobby, I had been able to hear some of the monks chanting Hare Krishna, and I felt drawn to them. As soon as my friend deposited me into the temple, he scurried off to get ready. 

Upon entering the room, I was taken aback by its beauty. I was struck speechless from all the statues and shrines of the Hindu Gods to the aroma of incense burning.  There were about six monks dancing and singing the Hare Krishna chant, and I was mesmerized by them. 

“Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare

Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare”

I had never heard the Krishna chant sung with such power and devotion. As they sang and danced, I felt like I was in the most beautiful dream and began to experience a high state of bliss. 

One of the monks was partially paralyzed. Later I was told that he’d had a stroke. But this did not stop him from dancing and worshiping his lord Krishna. I was so deeply taken by him that I did not even notice the tears of love rolling down my cheeks. I will never forget the pure love and devotion that was pouring out of that monk. Without a word, that monk taught me the true essence of devotion.

            By supper time, I was so full of love and devotion I really did not care if I ate or just continued doing meditation. The memory of that day will always be with me. 

Devotion to Love

Devotion begets awakening, and awakening begets devotion.

My devotional practice has grown as I have awakened. With my awakening has come an understanding that devotion is the doorway into the deeper states of union with God. The fastest route to our union with the Divine is through love. When we turn our hearts and minds toward loving each other and ourselves, our relationship with God strengthens and grows richer.

I did not become religious or more spiritual. I just became more loving and devoted to staying in the presence of love. This, in turn, has provided me with many great experiences. The relationship I am having with God is based entirely on loving myself and the world around me. It is simple and direct. We do not have to be anything other than who we are. 

The simplest and most direct path is to just, 

Be Love.