Chapter Eleven: Meditation

Meditation: Is it a practice or a study? How do we meditate? What are the benefits to it? Can anyone do it? Is it even real? These are all very valid questions that I know I had about meditation, mainly because I have heard so much about it and never spent much time with it. In this chapter, I offer some great tools to begin practicing meditation and I dispel many things that are misunderstood with the practice.

Transcript

Chapter Eleven

Meditation 

Positive Affirmation: I have the power to choose to set my mind down.

The mind is an elaborate costume we wear. Meditation helps us shed the pieces that are no longer useful to us.

This chapter provides some basic instruction on how to start a meditation practice. Contrary to what you may believe about meditation, there is very little you need to know about it. Meditation is more about the experience and practice of it than it is something we learn and gather knowledge about. There is no need to become an expert on the topic before diving into the practice of doing it. All that is required to enjoy the benefits of meditation is a willingness to set your mind down and focus your attention inward on the quietude of your heart. If you already have a meditation practice, this chapter may help you deepen your current practice by trying different styles of meditation. 

What Is Meditation?

Meditation has a longstanding history that can be found at the centre of the inner teachings of most religions and many philosophical traditions; however, there are a great many misconceptions around it and how it works. With meditation, it is easier to describe its many uses and how it affects you than to explain what it is. 

Some of the uses and benefits of meditation include relaxation and stress reduction. It is also a tool with which you can change your relationship with your mind. On a deeper level, it can help you discover a vast stillness within you. And deeper yet, meditation can help you create an intimate relationship with God. The depth to which you enter into meditation is different for everyone. It can also be different each time you do it. By the grace of God and your willingness to surrender, you can have many great experiences below the surface of your mind. 

The depth of your soul is an endless journey of great wonder.

Of course, this all begins with practice. It is an ongoing experience in your life. Once you start to meditate, you can weave it into every aspect of your daily routine. Meditation can be implemented with eyes open, eyes closed, or even during work and play. 

In Chapter One, I discussed how your mind is the greatest obstacle between you and your peace. A daily practice of meditation helps keep the mind in check and minimize its natural tendency to take control and dominate your inner experience. The objective of meditation is not to become a great thinker or to harness the power of your mind. The power of your mind pales in comparison to the power of the stillness found within, for within the stillness of your soul, you find God’s image looking back at you. 

On the other side of the coin, meditation can stir up old memories, bring about a healing crisis, and land you into dark places. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It is good in the sense to allow yourself an opportunity to heal and move away from the problems of your past. Meditation can provide a safe environment for healing to begin; however, it is a great idea to have supports around you if you find that you are struggling. This is where meditation retreats are a great idea. When you go on a retreat, you make friends with people who are also interested in meditation, and there are usually people around to support you in your experience with meditation. 

Through your practice of meditation, you can go as deep or as shallow as you are comfortable with. Superficially, you can enjoy the benefits of relaxation or you can dive deeper into your practice. How far you go in your meditation practice depends on your willingness and devotion, and the grace of God.

Part One: 

Moving into the Practice of Meditation

Once you discover who you are, your desire to leave this moment loses its spark. For only in the presence of this moment can we know ourselves.

Dropping Your Thoughts 

Similar to what we discussed in Chapter One, meditation is not about stopping your mind or its processes. It is about withdrawing your attention from the mind and redirecting it to the quietest place in you. The title of this section is revealing. Dropping a thought can be like dropping a stone out of your shoe. You dump it out and keep walking. The “keep walking” part is the key. Letting a thought go doesn’t mean that you drop it for a minute and then go back and pick it up. One of my favourite quotes points to what I am saying here.It is a section from Edward Fitzgerald's translation of the poem, “The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyam,” by Omar Khayyam,1859. 

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, 
 Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit 
 Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, 
 Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

All that meditation requires from you is to do nothing with the thoughts that arise in your mind. Watch your thoughts like they are a movie, or pretend that they are not real. This may be difficult at times because it is not something we are accustomed to doing. We have been taught that thinking is good and we must keep doing it at all cost. 

It’s not that thinking is a bad thing, but balance is the key. Being able to use your critical thinking skills is of great benefit; however, when you are finished using your mind, be sure to set it down. People frequently say that they cannot stop thinking. To that I say: “Can’t, or won’t?”  

Our thoughts and what we think about are two different things. Our thoughts come into our mind without any effort from us, while thinking is what we do with the thoughts. We cannot stop thoughts from coming into our mind; however; we can choose what we think about. Thoughts have other associated thoughts attached to them. One thought leads to the next very easily. That is one of the reasons we can find it hard to stop thinking. For example, the colour red leads me to apples, that to apple pie, my grandmother’s pie, to eating apple pie, and so on. These loops can be repetitive and get us caught up in our minds. 

We cannot stop thoughts from coming into our mind. We can, however, choose what we think about. A good exercise is to be willing to set a thought down mid-stream. When you are caught in a stream of thoughts, try to stop mid-stream. Disengage and let them be. 

 Part Two: 

Moving Your Attention Inward

Once you loosen the grip you have on your mind, the next step is to learn how and where to direct your attention. There is more to meditation than dropping your thoughts. Once you have learned how to let go of your thoughts, you can direct your attention deeper within yourself. 

One technique is to move your attention from your head down to your heart. This may be a different experience for you. Shifting your attention from your thoughts to deeper within can feel very odd, but the more time you spend relaxing, letting go of your thoughts, and surrendering your attention deeper and deeper into yourself, the more comfortable it will become. Why not give this a try right now? 

Heart-Focused Breathing Meditation

Bring all your attention to the centre of your heart. Start breathing in and out slowly. As you breathe in, feel your heart expand. As you breathe out, feel it contract. 

1. Next, bring up a time in your mind when you felt love. Remember the love you felt and go into the experience and the feeling of that love. Continue to breath in and out, maintaining your focus on your heart.
2. If during meditation your mind returns to thinking, just pull back from your mind and observe your thoughts as they arise. By not entertaining or grabbing these thoughts, they leave in the same fashion they came to you. The key here is to be gentle and loving toward yourself.

Watching Your Mind

Another method of meditation is to watch your mind. Watching your mind is like going to the theatre. The screen is your mind, and your thoughts are like the projector shining them on the screen. You don’t have to be affected by your thoughts. After a movie, the screen is unchanged. It is not wet from an underwater movie nor is it full of lust from a love scene. When the lights come on, the screen is blank. The same can be true for your mind. When thoughts arise, you can be a silent witness to them. When you learn how to remain unbiased and unaffected by the thoughts you are having, your attention is freed up to be placed inward and rested in the quietest space in your heart. 

If you are having a hard time finding a calm and quiet space in which to direct your attention, try starting with a mantra meditation or go back to the focused-heart breathing exercise. 

Mantra Meditation

Using mantras can be a very helpful tool to moving into a meditative state. A mantra is a word or sentence that is repeated over and over again. You can say your mantra once and then just rest your attention inward, or you can repeat the mantra for the duration of your meditation. If you only say the manta once and notice you have returned to your thoughts, simply repeat the mantra. Remember, do not beat yourself up for falling back into your thoughts. 

You can use all sorts of mantras in your meditations. There are no rules. Make up your own mantra, use positive affirmations, or look up mantras online or on YouTube. As you say the mantra, allow the words to permeate you. The idea is that you are taking your time and bringing your full awareness into what you are doing. It is not a race, nor do you want to be screaming your mantra in your mind. Resist the urge to listen to the voice in your mind. It can run a dialogue during your meditation. For example, as you go a bit deeper, the voice may say, “There you go, you’re doing it” or “Is this really working?” Remember, once you start talking in your mind, you are no longer meditating. After you have finished your meditation, take a few minutes to take in the silence. Allow the presence of the silence fill you up.

Five Step Mantra Meditation

1. Make yourself comfortable.
2. Start breathing slowly, in and out, taking in some deep breaths through the nose and out the mouth.
3. Introduce your mantra. Once you feel you are in a rhythm with your breathing, begin to say/repeat your mantra. You can say your mantra aloud or silently.
4. Keep resting your attention on the quietest space you can find in you. 
5. When you notice your thinking, very gently introduce your mantra again. 

 Part Three: 

Removing the Obstacles

When you sit down to meditate, your mind may throw thoughts at you like, “You don’t know what you’re doing,” “This is a waste of time,” “You could be using this free time more wisely,” and many others. This is very common, so do not be discouraged by the voices in your head. Just let them go as they arise. Do not to begin to think about them. Just return to your meditation. 

When I first started to meditate, I would be meditating and, right in the middle of it, I would start talking to myself. When I caught myself doing this, I would get upset and reprimand myself. Make your mediation practice about loving yourself. 

Have no Requirements

Early into meditation practice, I felt that I needed the entire house to be quiet. Next, I needed a special chair, pillow, and music—not too loud but not too soft. Then I needed to sit straight up and burn incense. The conditions went on and on. All of that is a trap. You do not require any special conditions to practice meditation. Just close your eyes wherever you are and begin. If it helps, at first you can go to a quiet room to meditate, but I encourage you not to form a habit of needing special conditions to practice meditation. It is best to practice meditation in all types of conditions and moods. By practicing meditation under all circumstances, it becomes more available to you. Life rarely provides you with perfect conditions to do meditation. Being able to do meditation while your kids are screaming might be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

How to Come to Your Meditation Practice

Sit quietly until the silence becomes a love song in you.

Life reveals its own kind of perfection when we step out of our minds and into the moment. The need to change things gives way to simply allowing what is to be.

Meet your meditation practice with innocence and allow each one to be as it is. Meditations are like snowflakes; every experience is different. Do not allow yourself to place judgements on your meditation. It does not need a critique—good, bad, or middling. Labelling your meditations can only lead to trying to repeat an experience. I have never had the same experience twice during a meditation. The stillness in me has qualities that I am familiar with, but the experience is ever- changing. By removing the labels and the need to recreate an experience, you will keep your mind out of your meditation practice. 

Meditation can be done with eyes open or closed, but I would encourage you to do as much meditation with your eyes open as you can. You can apply the same information with your eyes open. Practice this during your day when you are not able to sit and close your eyes. This makes your practice of meditation more of a lifestyle, and it becomes a valuable tool to change your internal experience with your mind. Given the fact that 80 per cent of your thoughts are negative and repeating from those you had yesterday, it might be a good idea to change how you respond to them. 

I spent years getting upset over the same topics. I could not imagine having to repeat that experience for the rest of my life. Why be stuck in a terrible mind space? You can choose what you do and what you think. 

My heart speaks the loudest when my mind is the quietest.

May your meditation experience be one that delivers you to your deepest peace. Your meditation practice can not only deliver you inner peace, it can also lead you to a space that is full of timeless wisdom. 

In one breath, I let go of my mind. I instantly disappeared. In my next breath, I turned toward the silence inside; I suddenly came back to life, full of peace and love.